This article is written by me – Kim Debron – it is owned by me. If you copy it, please give the credit to me, otherwise you are committing an act of plagiarism – you are stealing my work.
A ritual, as described in the dictionary, is:
A ceremonial act, or series of acts.
The performance of such acts.
A detailed method or procedure faithfully followed.
Being part of an established routine.
A ritual, then, is an act that is carried out on a regular basis, the same way every time. It can form part of a routine in a person’s life, or be part of a ceremony that may only take place occasionally.
The traditions of a slave girl bowing down in front of her Master go back hundreds, if not thousands of years, and rituals within the D/s lifestyle are common - there are many different ways of doing many different things. Rituals can be as complicated or as simple as we want them to be. My own opinion is that they are best kept fairly uncomplicated as otherwise it gets too hard to remember what you do next. No submissive likes to make a mistake and in public especially, doing the serves can be nerve wracking.
The Gorean lifestyle is full of rituals – some are quite detailed and involved, others more simple, but all are full of grace and fluidity when executed properly. Many people who do not follow a full Gorean lifestyle, do however like the serves and rituals, and as my Master has done, will take what they like and incorporate it into daily life.
People may ask why are rituals so important to some of us?
i believe that there are different reasons why people find rituals important.
For some, it is about being on show, being seen and getting people’s attention, these people do not really care about the deep meaning of the rituals, they just want to be seen to be serving the drink. There would be no feelings or emotions associated with it at all.
For others it is because they are forced to carry out certain rituals. It maybe a Gorean slave, or a slave of another kind. Slaves do not have a choice – so there can be a situation where a slave simply hates rituals, yet has no option but to do them, because the Master or Mistress wishes it done. Again there would not be much feeling or emotion put into the act of the ritual.
Then there are submissives or slaves like me, who simply love the serving and rituals. The feelings evoked deep within my soul are just too beautiful to really describe accurately, but what it does, is take me to my submissiveness, it reminds me that i belong to Master, that i am here to give Him pleasure and serve Him.
When i serve Him a drink in public, i am not doing it for the attention, i am not doing it to be seen, i am doing it because i know how much pleasure it brings Him.
From that thought comes my own pleasure in the very act of the serve.
I have rituals every day, which help to give my day the structure it needs, and help me to focus on my submission and who i am , where i fit in the world and where i fit into my Master’s life.
In the morning, when i first get out of bed, i kneel at the side of it, and face where Master is sleeping. I silently say good morning as i take my collar and put it on. If He is already up, then i take my collar to Him, kneel and say good morning and either He or i will place it around my neck. If i forget, i am quickly reminded!
The first cup of tea i make for Master each day, i serve on my knees, Gorean style. The meaning is deep. I am on my knees, my legs are apart so that my Master can see that i am open and available for Him, to look at, to touch to use if He desires.( i am offering myself to my Master). The cup is in my hands, with the handle facing towards Master, a little to the right as He is right handed.
I then hold the cup between my open legs and i say quietly, “From my body” this means i am offering Him my body which is His to use as He will.
I then take the cup to my breast and say - “From my heart” –this is me telling Master that my heart belongs to Him forever, everything i give comes from my heart.
Finally, i bring the cup to my lips and kiss it and say -“From my soul” -. It means He owns me, owns my soul, and i am His. I hold the cup out to Master, as close as i can to where His hand is, so that He can take the cup with as little effort as possible. My hands remain outstretched, in case He wishes to give me the cup to hold, but usually He will put His cup down and take my hands and kiss them, then reach for me and W/we will have a proper good morning kiss, and hug.
My night time ritual starts with me going to the toilet, cleaning my teeth, washing my hands and face, and then undressing for bed.
Once i am ready, i kneel by the end of the bed, and wait for Master to come. I will kiss His feet, and He will then take a handful of my hair to put me back in a kneeling position, remove my collar, help me to my feet, kiss me and tell me to get into bed.
These rituals take place every single day, no matter where we are, though they sometimes have to be adapted, for example, i may not wear a collar if we are staying with family or friends, and i may not go to my knees to serve His tea, but behind closed doors, the rituals continue.
We have other rituals too -
One which i love is what Master calls “the tea serve”. Every Friday, for morning tea, i will collect a silver tray which has on it a small teapot, matching cup, saucer, sugar bowl and jug, and i will make a pot of tea. Master will sit in His chair, in the loungeroom and i will take the tray to a small table beside Him and, on my knees, will serve Him a cup of tea.
This ritual is High Protocol, i will not speak, will not look at Him – my eyes must remain down, my position is on my knees, legs apart, hands on my thighs, and i must stay still. Master will finish His tea and either ask for another cup, or dismiss me.
I love the mindset this gives me, love the headspace, and simply love the feeling of being at His feet, serving His tea.
There are other rituals as well like the “greeting” which can be used for hello or goodbye, my Master likes this one also, and before i moved in with Him, it was a regular feature in my life. I kneel in front of Him, and bend forward, put my forehead to His boot and then kiss it, i wait and He will grab my hair and indicate that i should rise, sometimes a little pat on the bottom accompanies the hair grabbing.
Even the simple act of Master putting on my collar before we go out, is a ritual. My dress collar has a padlock at the back therefore i cannot put it on by myself, but standing in front of Master, with my hair pulled out of the way really does give me amazing feelings. It reminds me of what and who i am to Master – what my place is in His world, and how happy and complete i am when the collar is around my neck.
These rituals are a constant in my life and without them every day, i cannot focus or function properly.
Of course not everyone uses these rituals or serves, or even the same versions of what Master and i use. We see different ways of doing the serves quite often. Some submissives will simply kneel and offer the drink, with head down, some will do more elaborate serves, some will not kneel but will just offer the drink on their outstretched hands.
It isn’t so much about how it is done, it is more about the reasons behind it –It’s about the mindset and the respect for your Dominant, and about your physical capabilities too, some people simply cannot go up and down on their knees, therefore the rituals can be adapted to what is comfortable and possible for them.
For some of us in this lifestyle, rituals are just one more facet of our very interesting world, one which many of us embrace with enthusiasm and deep feelings.
So remember that the next time you see a submissive, on her knees with arms outstretched, serving a drink to her Master, she may very well be in her own little slice of heaven.
© Kim Debron 2006